Ten tips for winning at life

Stop reading self-help lists - except this one, it could save your life.

1. Be present

Some people call it mindfulness. Others call it paying attention. Either way, living in the present is the surest way to gain perspective and be happy. There's no past, no future. Just what's happening right now.

Of course, if you're in a polar bear cage or you've just fallen off a boat, you should probably think about the future and do something about that right now. Right now! Run! Swim! Something!

2. Take a few days off from drinking every week

The eggheads at the No Fun and Zero Laughs Institute recommend you take two days off. Take three. You'll lose weight, save money and wake up more refreshed.

3. Leave your smartphone in your pocket at dinner

You just fired off an amazing tweet making fun of a celebrity's weight problem and your Facebook rant about the yo-yo's in Canberra is getting more 'likes' by the second. But as fascinating as that stuff is, none of it is more important than whoever is sitting with you at dinner. And if your phone is more important, you need to make better decisions about who you have dinner with.

4. Get your email inbox to zero

You've got approximately 600 million emails in your inbox and 35,000 of them are unread. Guess what? You're not going to read them. And the 7324 emails you've got flagged because they're important and you MUST get to them? You won't. And no one expects you to. And if they do, they'll have to get over it. If they're more than a week or two old, they're just not that important – or you would have gotten to them by now.

5. Don't be such a tightarse

If you're going to use something every day or even very frequently, let that cash go. Anything you wear, drive, sleep on, carry in your pocket or apply to your body is worth the extra.

6. Realise you're in control of your emotions

It's happened again. Another Saturday date night with the wife ruined because your waiter had the temerity to bring your steak medium instead of medium rare and you called him a “bottom-feeding mouth breather”. And you insist it wasn't your fault. HE made YOU angry. Wrong. Your outburst started with one of your own thoughts. An irrational one that you allowed to prompt an extreme emotion – anger. And then you rode that wave to Rage Town and right out of the restaurant.

Try this: Catch the irrational thought before it triggers an extreme emotion. Recognise the thought for what it is. Prevent the emotional response. It's not easy, but it can work for anxiety and depression, too.

7. Stop reading self-help books and lists

Just kidding. Read this list. It will save your life.

8. Contemplate your own death

Like living in the present, imagining your own death is a fantastic eye-opener. Whether sudden and grisly or dragged out and anticlimactic, being aware of your imminent return to dust will either (a) allow you to take a deep breath and enjoy the life you're living or (b) light a fire in you because there's no time to waste. Either way, your purpose, as well as who and what you love, should become incredibly clear.

9. Accept that life is full of hassles

Sometimes it's those irritating little things that can ruin your day or week and eventually your year – cyclists, loud elevator chat, the perpetually confounding popularity of dancing competitions on TV … accept them as an unavoidable part of life and they'll wash over you with less consequence.

10. Stop thinking of life as a game to be won

You're jealous of that barely-conscious colleague who got promoted ahead of you. Your best friend from uni married rich and now you hate him. You're filthy over the fact the latest thing Justin Bieber “got away with”.

Well, as discussed, they're all going to die. And so are you. Who's the winner then? Nobody, that's who.

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Satnam

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5 Ways Successful People Take Control of Life

Some of the most important things in life are accomplished when we have a sense of urgency. And some of the greatest stresses we endure are experienced when we are bombarded and ambushed by the emergencies of life. What’s the difference? It’s the locus of control. Are the stresses coming from outside ourselves, or are they coming from within?

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Best-selling author and leadership expert John Kotter suggests that too many workers—including executives—do not have a sense of urgency about their work. This is seen up and down the corporate ladder. This does not mean that workers should be running around with their hair on fire. It does mean that these workers are focused on what’s important. They understand that they live in a world where change is continuous and not episodic. They know that the company cannot rest on its laurels, even as they celebrate victories. This cannot happen without creating a sense of urgency.

How does this parallel our daily lives? When it comes to urgencies, there are two kinds of people in the world:

One group is a victim of urgency. The other group is a victor in urgency.

One person doesn’t create an inner sense of urgency. They opt to wait for life to become urgent and then react to it. Yet that kind of urgency brings its companions: stress, anxiety, self-pity, self-preoccupation, and sometimes for good measure, this kicks in the reactions of rush and panic in an attempt to salvage lost time. Rarely do these folks achieve their goals, if there were any.

The other person doesn’t wait for the urgent. They create that sense of urgency in themselves. Their urgency is not as stressful as it is motivational. It creates drive rather than panic. They are driven to accomplish what’s before them today. They understand that this day has never been here before, and it will never come again.

One group is a victim of urgency. The other group is a victor in urgency. What’s the key? Location, location, location. Is it an inner or an external locus of control?

Successful people refuse to give their power away. Here are five things they do to take control of their life:

1. Successful people create a sense of urgency in themselves.

They get up each day with that urgent feeling in their gut. They don’t create anxiety, but they do create urgency.

2. Successful people don’t confuse activity with accomplishment.

They understand that busyness can numb us to complacency—allowing one day to flow into the next with no real desired outcomes. Let’s call it intentional urgency.

3. Successful people don’t let emergencies derail them.

Their success is fueled by the urgency of the day, not the emergency de jour. When those inevitable emergencies arrive, it doesn’t derail them. They handle them as best they can and continue down the track. Outward circumstances are less compelling and urgent. An outer locus of control, with its plethora of issues, overwhelms us. We don’t need to find them. They find us. The urgencies they face are the ones they create. Even when they go fast, they are not out of control. They don’t rush. Rushing creates emergencies.

“Be quick, but not in a hurry.” —John Wooden

4. Successful people know what’s important.

Knowing what’s important to you creates clarity. That in turn reduces stress. This helps rid them of needless clutter that will slow them down. They understand that everything is not an option, so they focus on the priority thing—the urgent thing. There is never enough time to do everything, but there’s always enough time to do the important thing.

5. Successful people listen to the right voices.

Seth Godin warns about the trolls in our head. Beware of them. They love to instill a sense of panic. Be vigilant. The troll is the voice of insecurity and self-criticism. Don’t feed the troll. That supplies it with more excuses. Don’t argue with it. That just takes up your time. Don’t attempt to litigate it. Your inner troll is an expert at swaying the jury. You create your own urgency and don’t let your inner troll derail those good intentions.

Practicing simple habits will assist you in avoiding serious hazards. By creating your own urgencies, you will discover a newfound power in your life.

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